As a single mom, life can often feel like a never-ending juggling act. Between work, household chores, and making sure my daughters, Chloe (17) and Alexandria (11), have everything they need, it’s easy to forget about taking care of myself. But over the years, my girls have taught me some profound lessons about self-care. Their wisdom, sometimes spoken directly and other times shown through their actions, has been very helpful in my journey to find balance and nurture myself. Here are four things my kids taught me about self-care.
The Joy of Simple Pleasures
Alexandria, my 11-year-old, has a way of finding joy in the simplest of things. One day, she dragged me outside to watch the sunset. I was tired from a long day, but her enthusiasm was contagious. As we sat there, the sky ablaze with colors, I felt a sense of peace wash over me.
In that moment, I realized how often I overlook the simple pleasures in life. Alexandria taught me to slow down and appreciate the beauty around me. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a good book, or a quiet moment with a cup of tea, these small joys are essential to self-care and replenishing our spirit.
The Importance of Vulnerability
There was a time when Chloe was struggling with the pressures of school and friendships. One evening, she came to me, tears streaming down her face, and poured out her heart. She spoke about her fears, her anxieties, and her feelings of inadequacy. It was a moment of raw vulnerability, and it took tremendous courage for her to share her deepest emotions with me.
In that moment, Chloe taught me that being vulnerable is a vital part of self-care. As Black women, we are often expected to be strong and unbreakable. But true strength lies in acknowledging our weaknesses and seeking support when we need it. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable opens the door to healing and connection. It reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles and that it's okay to ask for help.
The Necessity of Taking Breaks
Alexandria has an infectious energy and zest for life. But even she knows when it’s time to take a break. I remember a weekend when she had back-to-back activities planned. Halfway through, she came to me and said, “Mom, I think I need a rest day.”
Her self-awareness was remarkable. I’ve always pushed myself to keep going, to be productive at all times. But Alexandria’s wisdom reminded me that rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. I started to prioritize rest and downtime, allowing myself to recharge without guilt. This change has been transformative, helping me to be more present and engaged in both my personal and professional life.
The Importance of Saying No
Chloe, my wise-beyond-her-years teenager, has a way of observing the world that always amazes me. One day, after watching me agree to yet another commitment that I had no time or energy for, she said, “Mom, it’s okay to say no sometimes.” It was a simple statement, but it carried so much weight. Chloe’s words reminded me that self-care often means setting boundaries. Saying no is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-preservation. It’s okay to prioritize my well-being over trying to please everyone else.
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